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Purpose

IGNORING THE ABSENCE OF DESIRE

Before I understood about life, or after I understood about some parts of life but not yet others, or when I was right in the mofo vortex of LEARNING about life, or maybe it was a million years ago, but probably just yesterday,

something happened.

I gave up parts of me, not quite the core of me, but still a decent chunk of me, to someone who was never going to be my person,

Not in a million years,

Not even if I squeezed my eyes ever so tight and ignored EVERY OBVIOUS AS FUCK REASON why this was literally the biggest mis-match in the history of time, but yet also (and such is life, no?) so perfect in so many ways and indeed, no matter which way I want to play or twist it, exactly and precisely and only what I had called in.

It’s funny. Don’t you think? How obvious these things are in retrospect. And we wonder –

How on EARTH did I not see that? Why did I overLOOK that? What crazy part of my tiny little (in that moment!) mind thought it was an intelligent freakin’ life choice to pretend that THAT could be okay, or, more relevantly, aligned, for me.

With perhaps the biggest thing of all, the smack you in the face and make you wanna roll your eyes thing of all, being the total.fucking.abscence of desire.

Oh, sure, there was DESIRE –

Desire to be seen.
Desire for connection.
Desire for energetic exchange.
Desire for something deeper, powerful, fuck yes, more?

OF COURSE.

Desire for that particular person, for their soul, for who they are in how they show up right now as a human, desire for nothing in particular, really, because actually desire is never about having a particular characteristic in place, or no, it’s ONLY something that either IS, or no, and baby –

It was not.

Not even once, not even a little bit!

And yet, there I went, back in that moment a hundred thousand years back or perhaps it was just last week, I don’t know, it doesn’t matter, you get the point of the story –

Digging myself ever further into a connection that I thought maybe could, or should, unfold to SOMETHING, because, well, because, well –

>>> Insert blank space, hashtag eye roll, hashtag interesting life choice, hashtag fear mind <<<

And it reminds me, you know? It reminds me so much of earlier times in my business.

Where absolutely no fucking part of me wanted to do it THAT way. Not a single little BIT of it spoke to me about doing it that way. Literally nothing in my heart leaped for joy, no cell in my body was expanded, not a single full body fuck yes was experienced, and precisely NIL angels came down from heaven to sing and signal that this was the way, and yet I TRIED TO DO IT ANYWAY.

Because because because, well –

Because people I respected or thought I should said so.
Because everybody else was doing it that way! (hashtag coronavirus hashtag toilet paper hashtag fear mind hashtag sheep)
Because it seems liked something I thought could, or should, unfold to SOMETHING, because, well, because, well –

>>> INSERT BLANK SPACE <<<

Because nobody ever told me yet that I could unapologetically back myself, go all the way the fuck in on being me, do ONLY my purpose work, and do it from soul, my way, and SCREW the motherfucking system!

Nobody told me?

I didn’t yet realise this was something I had to tell myself 

As a result of this, I spent several years trying to follow the system of being a good little marketer, good little sales person online, good little brand buildin’ stepfordpreneur, and slowly slowly my soul started to wither,

And die,

And meanwhile – ! I absolutely was NOT attracting only soulmate clients, I absolutely was NOT doing only the work I was called to do, in only the way that felt right for me, and I absolutely was NOT letting all of who I really am be seen!

As a result of THAT, I absolutely was not creating the business,

The life,

Or the me,

That I came here for.

Look, I don’t regret a second of it! I learned what I needed to learn, and eventually what I learned was this:

I GET TO BE ALL OF ME, PERIOD, THE END, AND NOT ONLY IS THAT ALLOWED AND OKAY, BUT IT IS EXACTLY WHAT DRAWS MY IDEAL PEEPS TO ME AND RESULTS IN THAT I’VE NOW BUILT AN 8-FIGURE+ BUSINESS, ON MY TERMS, WHERE EVERY DAY I GET TO JUST WAKE UP AND DO MY SOUL WORK AND PLAY AND DANCE AND TWIRL WITH GOD AND LIFE.

Or, y’know – something like that 

So yeah, I don’t regret any of it.

But boy oh boy am I glad I finally moved past the stage of thinking I needed to give even a SECOND of me to something that didn’t light up ALL of me, because somehow saying yes to “fuck, maybe”, and hoping it would unfold into “fuck yes!” was a thing.

Lemme tell you:

Fuck, maybe never turns to FUCK YES, and ignoring the absence of desire?? Not so smart. In fact very very not fucking smart.

Do I shake my head at myself now in wonder that I gave up bits of my soul my mind my energy my time to a person who I felt no core desire for, no internal fuck yes, no “I can’t not” instinctive need to be close to this person, which, let’s face it, is a thing which is either there or NO?

No.

I mean, well, yes. Sure. Of course I shake my head, in wonder, that I really am that bloody masterful at creating a story of what could be, and then buying in to the story! I’m a genius at it, actually! Someone should give me an award.

But shake my head that I was an idiot or a fool, for not seeing something that now seems obvious about that connection of yesteryear, which I now get to use an example of EXACTLY WHAT I CLAIM THE DIFFERENT OF?

Nah. Not so much.

After all, I chose it. I choose everything that comes in to my life, and to believe otherwise would be to believe against my own innate ability to create whatever I CHOOSE.

So yeah, no. That’s not a thing.

But here is what is:

Right now, there is something in your life which your soul wants to say yes to. Every cell in your body is screaming YES! Maybe it’s a person, and it makes no sense, but your energy is undoubtedly saying yes to their energy. Maybe it’s a business idea or shift, and it seems reckless, but something within you does not GIVE a fuck.

And yet there you are –

Giving a fuck, because somebody or something told you “that’s not how it works”.

Well –

IT IS HOW IT FUCKING WORKS!

Desire will show you the way, it’s that simple, and it REALLY would behoove you to stop tryna pretend otherwise.

By the same token –

The absence of desire is right now jumpin’ up and down in your face somewhere and telling you, hey – ! THAT IS NOT THE WAY. That is not the thing. That is not how you’re meant to play this shit. Walk away!

And you?

Well, maybe you still have lessons to learn in this area. And that’s okay.

But maybe, like I did, too many times to remember is the truth of the matter, maybe, just maybe, it’s time to lift your head up –

Boobs out!

And say “THANK YOU FOR THE LESSONS, BUT NO THANK YOU, I’M GOOD NOW”, and then??

Baby, what else?

GO GET YOUR LIFE.

Because after all, no matter which way you play it and how you choose to learn through your current experiences, one thing we know for sure is this:

Don’t forget –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat x

P.S.

Rebel.
Upstart.
Fuck the system; screw the rules.
Won’t do what they told me.
Too much.
Unreasonable.
Ridiculous.
Unprofessional.
Crazy!

Should I go on? I could, but I think you get the picture.

You’re the one who is not only not like the other PEOPLE, you’re also not like the other entrepreneurs.

They, they actually think they’re different; non-conformists?! Don’t make me laugh. You and I both see it as it is:

They just wanna be told how to build a pretty little website and a pretty little social media page or three and a pretty little online product or course and get their pretty little headshots and do a pretty little pre-scripted dance all over the internet so that other equally pretty fucking bland and boring and same same-y peoples pay them money,

And they can all sit in a pretty little womans circle together patting each other linking elbows and stroking each others hair and singing Kumbaya as the sun sets over another day of sinking ever deeper into the unremarkableness that is their lives.

They are the ones who are not only willing to jump through hoops, they also want to build more hoops for other people; they want to perpetuate the hoop jumping life and their whole sales pitch is basically some version of “I will help you to have a better and shinier hoop, come see!”

lolol

BUT REALLY.

Meanwhile, you –

You’ve tried the hoop-jumping life, maybe more than what you care to admit. And, whilst you’ve nothing against sitting around with other ladeez and stroking each others hair, you and your girls; the real ones?

You don’t exactly fit in in the typical woman’s circle.

You don’t feel at home with the pretty-preneurs, not even on the internet let alone in real life.

You don’t actually GIVE a fuck about having all your shit perfect,

Polished,

And just so –

And the idea of having sales and marketing and content processes which you have to systematically pre-plan and then work through and endlessly join dots with?

Makes you want to hurl.

Sure –

You’ve bought in at times to do the idea that maybe you DO gotta do it as they say.

An automated webinar, perhaps?? Facebook ads which carefully and smartly tell the world who you are and how you can help? A sales plan proven and tested by the greats. The gradual sinking slow decline of your soul, your joy, your dreams, and even your pussy as everything within you that once knew she could HAVE IT ALL AND DO LIFE HER WAY SLOWLY DRIES,

WITHERS TO NOTHING,

AND DIES?

Sure –

Why not

And look.

It’s not that any of these things are bad or wrong. Maybe right now you’ve got to a certain point by playing by the rules … kind of. Following what ‘logic’ suggests you do. Breaking free here and there with wild little jaunts into over the top madness, noticing how THAT lights you up and also how people respond to it … but ultimately continuing to go back to trying to find the right fucking system to get you to where you want to go,

Because this thing of trying to just be you interspersed with trying to get it all right and make it work, well –

It’s God damn tiring –

But also, in the end, if we’re going to be black and white about it, it hasn’t got you to where you want to be!!

You KNOW you should be making SO much more money.

NOW.

With consistency, and yeah, while of course of COURSE you’re down for doing the work, you also feel like it SHOULD be a lot easier, more flow

And you know that you know that you know that you’ve still not let out the most unrestrained and fully expressed side of you!

– The you they can’t look away from
– The you they are MAGNETIZED by
– The you who automatically commands a huge freakin’ following, and sales to match it

You know who I’m talking about –

THE MILLIONAIRE REBEL YOU!

Starting January 18th!

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/

The revolutionary fucking leader who tears SHREDS off of normal every damn day before the rest of the world has barely sipped its coffee!

Who is FULLY unleashed in what she says, how she shows up, how she does business, how she does life.

Who does not give a fuck about following rules! Or sales systems! Or strategies! Who can and will do what works for HER, and if it happens to resemble other ways people build an audience and make a fuckload of money online, cool, and if not, so what! That is not the point! The point is –

She knows what works for her.
She backs herself unapologetically.
She DOES it.

And she gets the damn results. The BIG results. The CONSISTENT results. The FUCK yes results, not just with money but with the VIBERY of it all.

Imagine …

Waking up every day and KNOWING you have crushed the day before it already begun because THAT IS WHO YOU ARE AND HOW YOU ROLL!

* Your shit sells (at any and all price point)
* Your creativity and inner ideas machine flows endlessly (you always know what to put out into the world and that when you speak people PAUSE EVERYTHING AND LISTEN, whether it is with free content and shenaniganery or with your paid stuff)
* You don’t even have to think about low end or high end or how to take people through a value ladder or some such bullshit, the value ladder is YOU CONTINUING TO BE YOU, and the more that you DO you the more people just take themselves through whatever it is you’re offering!
* It is easy, natural, fun, and OBVIOUS how to build your automated income, funnels, the ‘cash machine’ side of your business.
* In fact the whole damn thing feels fun and easy and like you’re just being you (the full on you, the too much you, the rebel you, the fuck all of ’em THIS IS WHAT I STAND FOR AND NOW I’M GONNA TELL YOU you!),
* and at the same time you have the DEEPLY grounded and certain knowledge that the way you’re doing it, hot mess and chaos vibes and all, is WORKING. PS – the reason you feel certain of this is because your bank balance and soulmate audience and their feedback reflects it, not bc your spirit guides told you it’s coming

All of this is ALREADY available to you.

It is who you are and what you were born for.

You did not come here for normal!

You are one of the truly crazy ones, who has something inside of her that will leave the world BREATHLESS –
and allow her to make millions and impact millions –

BUT NOT IF SHE CONTINUES TO DO BUSINESS AND LIFE BY TRYING TO SOMEHOW BE A NON-CONFORMIST WHO CONTINUALLY CAVES AND CONFORMS.

For this to work,

REALLY work, like next next NEXT level $ and life flow work,
you’re going to need to FULLY turn your back on the idea that your breakthrough is waiting on the other side of you adjusting, filtering, compromising, playing the game the way the other entrepreneurs are playing it, or worrying about what the fuck your social media looks like!

What you’re going to need to do is simple:

FLICK THE DAMN REBEL MILLIONAIRE SWITCH BABY.

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/

All in on madness.
All in on crazy.
All in on chaos.
All in on the TRUE epic awesome ridiculousness and too much-ness of YOU.

REBEL MILLIONAIRE

Starting January 18th!

For those who were born to run the damn thing,

To turn the world on its head and dance on top of it,

And who are ready to do just that.

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/