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Purpose

SILENCE

“Sometimes when I am processing something, especially if it’s confronting or unsettling, figuring it out within me, and letting clarity drop in, you will notice I pull back, or go silent”.

I’m quoting myself from a discussion had in the very early stages of connecting with the man in my life, as things started to open and get heart real in a way which definitely brought up occasional STUFF.

He had noticed, and called me out on, a few times when I retracted or even went completely silent. I had owned it, then felt into it, figured out ‘hmm, that’s true, I DO do that, why do I do that?’, and then came up with the reason, which I shared with him.

Sometimes when I don’t know what to say in the relationship we are building I say nothing. I wait until I know my own mind, heart, soul, and also how to express it. I am okay with that. He is okay with that. It is actually greatly APPRECIATED, that I don’t speak (usually! ) from reactivity. That I wait until what is meant to come out comes out with intention.

The one adjustment I did make, after observing, being called on, and owning that it’s my pattern to pull back or go quiet while I seek certainty, or at least a level of understanding on something that is taking me to a new level, is that I will tell him when I’m doing that. Actually I don’t have to, as he obviously sees it … but nonetheless it feels right to me now, when the occasional ‘WOAH, I don’t know what to do with this yet’ thing comes up in me, that I would say something like “I’m sitting with this / I’m feeling a bit unsure of what I’m feeling right now”.

Etc.

This is a personal relationship between two individuals, so (to me) it makes sense to be accountable to what we have such that I would SAY (now) if I don’t have anything to say yet.

If it were in a group environment, such as, let’s say, a group of friends who I commune with AS a group regularly, and something was feeling uncertain for me, I was figuring out what I wanted to share, or I was perhaps observing, learning, studying, finding and feeling my feelings, and waiting until it came from a level of connectedness to my own truth before sharing, would I be accountable to the group to let them know I am processing, learning, etc?

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe.

I can’t say for sure. I’ve had times in my life where this has happened within a friendship circle, and what is natural for me is to go quiet on that particular topic or conversation, withdraw, go completely silent, until I feel my own heart and mind again.

Doing this is in many ways the BEST way for me to learn and grow.

Indeed it’s how I’ve built my entire business and life … retracting, going within, processing, understanding, etc, and then (typically!) coming back like a raging bat outta hell with Things to Say to The World.

You feel me?

Some of you won’t feel me, AT ALL, on this, and that’s okay.

I know you know where this is leading.

Is it okay for leaders to stay silent, right now, on what is going on in the world, specifically in the US, specifically relevant to that Black Lives Matter.

Well, despite that I myself have posted and shared my thoughts briefly (and will likely continue to do so as it is something coming THROUGH me, and which I am, as and when I am, ready to speak on with a LEVEL of understanding and also intent), despite this, my firm answer on whether it is allowable for people to stay silent is YES.

YES.
YES.
YES.

1000x yes.

Bullying and shaming other leaders or coaches or people or ANYONE because they are not showing up the way that YOUR internal navigation system says they should is never.fucking.okay.

Do I believe this topic needs attention, energy, focus, change, HELL yes.

Do I believe that that requires ‘everyone who could’, or ‘everyone who has a platform’, to speak up in the way that others expect them to, HELL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING NO and frankly my unfiltered feeling on this is that some of you could shut the fuck RIGHT up on this and BACK.OFF.

Wanna say I am making it about me, or about anyone else’s ‘feelings’, and THAT IS NOT WHAT IT’S ABOUT, and so therefore that doesn’t MATTER right now, cool.

Say / feel what you need to say or feel.

To me this is 100% not about preserving anyone’s FEELINGS, I could care less about my own ‘feelings’, and to para-quote my amazing friend Amanda Frances, who speaks up often as a white woman coach, on White Privilege, and her open and raw thoughts on all of this, I lose people all the time anyway. It’s what I signed up for in this business, so no, I don’t care about whether I lose people, and I also don’t have any issues around gettin’ butt-hurt on ANY topic.

The reason I believe it is okay to stay silent is SOMETIMES THAT IS HOW PEOPLE LEARN AND GROW BEST. Sometimes that is what THEY need. Sometimes that is a PART of the way they begin to take action that ultimately moves mountains.

I would never have built a business that has made over 15 million dollars if I had not learned to be really fucking good at staying silent, going within, connecting in, and then COMING OUT RAGING AND SPEAKING MY TRUTH.

So when you tell someone that if they don’t state their stance, speak up, use their platform, ETC, you have no freaking clue what is actually going on with that person. YES IT’S NOT ABOUT THEM, WE GET THAT. But the way that an individual acts for change is NOT UP TO YOU TO DECIDE.

Maybe they are learning, observing, in the comments, getting to the point where they have clarity and ability to speak.

Maybe they are speaking, consulting, being guided or taught by trusted advisors before they try to do it with or from freakin’ FACEBOOK.

Maybe they will NEVER speak on this, and I also believe that is okay. Each person gets to decide their own message, and to follow what is within them. To trust in what they put forth, or no. To let their art be created from their truth, and also to let their ADVOCACY come from what they are aligned to speak on or indeed to act on in any other way that YOU may never be aware they are acting on.

I read a great Instagram post by a black woman I was just referred to via a client, and it added to my existing thoughts on this.

“Silence is not violence.
Silence is a decision.
Every decision has consequences.

‘Silence is violence’ often comes with a binary of right and wrong and an accusation of “if you’re silent, you are wrong”. White Supremacy thrives off these rigid binaries and absolute truths without space for complexity and humanity.”

You can read her entire post at @andrearanaej on Insta. I recommend it.

Here is what else:

It is not only white women (or men) coaches or leaders who have stayed silent and felt unsure of what or how to share. I have had NUMEROUS – yes, numerous – clients, both private and in my groups, who are black women, speak to me privately about feeling unsure about how or what to speak up about.

IT IS OKAY FOR PEOPLE TO NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

IT IS OKAY FOR PEOPLE TO PROCESS IN THE WAY THAT THEY PROCESS.

YOU ARE LITERALLY TRYING TO ROB PEOPLE OF THEIR NATURAL ABILITY TO BE THEIR BEST AND MOST ABLE TO EFFECT CHANGE SELF.

I am my strongest and most powerful when I first take the time to do what I need to do inside of me. So if I am in ANY way going to be a voice on this matter, hell YEAH I was probably gonna be hella silent first. Which indeed I was. So when I DID then post, with intent, and heart, and a deep desire to create SOME kind of however small ripple effect, and some people made mention of being thankful I am ‘no longer silent’, on the one hand I get it, I get about my platform, and on the other hand, nope. Nope. Nope. My being silent was not me being ignorant, or uncaring, or whatever, it was me gathering gathering gathering.

AND.

Assumed possible response “this matters too much for you or anyone to have the privelege of gathering, observing, learning, figuring things out, etc”.

No. That is an extraordinarily narrow minded viewpoint predicated on the assumption that the most powerful way to create change is to speak even if it is reactive, not from intent, not from truth, not from POWER.

I know who TF I am, and I know how I best use the supernatural and physical power I have access to.

It sure as fuck is not and never has been and will never be by making sure I meet the demands of ANYONE to check a box / play by the rules of what a proper leader or even HUMAN should do.

I speak from intent ONLY.
I speak from heart ONLY.
I know how to use my platform and voice in a way that actually comes from power and truth, and I do so ONLY AS AND WHEN GUIDED.

Never before.
No exceptions.
The end.

So, yes.

I am here to learn.
I am here to grow.
I am here to CONTINUE to observe where I can do better, and how I can effect even the smallest of change.
I am a stand that black lives matter.
And I will likely to continue to speak up.

But I will do so as and when guided.

And as part of that I will never ever ever be part of a conversation that says there is a ‘right way’ that EVERYBODY must conform to, which means that if I have clients or friends or peers, of any colour, who do NOT speak up, then I know that that is okay.

It is allowed.

It does not at ALL mean any thing about them or their beliefs.

And it is only ever between an individual and God how they should be using their gifts,

message,

platform,

voice,

and whether or not they are in alignment.

Finally:

If a leader or coach is NOT God and soul led to speak on this topic, or is simply not ready to do so yet without ‘faking it’, should they have to announce and let you know where they’re at, that they’re sitting with it until they have clarity or readiness, much as I would do in my relationship?

NO. Maybe somebody reading this decides to do that, and if so I am happy. But if they decide that what THEY need in order to be able to be their most powerful towards ANY change self, whatever that means for them, is to continue to STAY WITHIN, I fully honour and respect that.

And I do not make that mean that you are anything other than you,

on your path,

where you damn well should be.

One more PS which I feel is relevant: as with anything, if you ARE led to speak, do so knowing it is okay to get it wrong, and to be humble to learn via mess.

Don’t forget –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat x

P.S.

Rebel.
Upstart.
Fuck the system; screw the rules.
Won’t do what they told me.
Too much.
Unreasonable.
Ridiculous.
Unprofessional.
Crazy!

Should I go on? I could, but I think you get the picture.

You’re the one who is not only not like the other PEOPLE, you’re also not like the other entrepreneurs.

They, they actually think they’re different; non-conformists?! Don’t make me laugh. You and I both see it as it is:

They just wanna be told how to build a pretty little website and a pretty little social media page or three and a pretty little online product or course and get their pretty little headshots and do a pretty little pre-scripted dance all over the internet so that other equally pretty fucking bland and boring and same same-y peoples pay them money,

And they can all sit in a pretty little womans circle together patting each other linking elbows and stroking each others hair and singing Kumbaya as the sun sets over another day of sinking ever deeper into the unremarkableness that is their lives.

They are the ones who are not only willing to jump through hoops, they also want to build more hoops for other people; they want to perpetuate the hoop jumping life and their whole sales pitch is basically some version of “I will help you to have a better and shinier hoop, come see!”

lolol

BUT REALLY.

Meanwhile, you –

You’ve tried the hoop-jumping life, maybe more than what you care to admit. And, whilst you’ve nothing against sitting around with other ladeez and stroking each others hair, you and your girls; the real ones?

You don’t exactly fit in in the typical woman’s circle.

You don’t feel at home with the pretty-preneurs, not even on the internet let alone in real life.

You don’t actually GIVE a fuck about having all your shit perfect,

Polished,

And just so –

And the idea of having sales and marketing and content processes which you have to systematically pre-plan and then work through and endlessly join dots with?

Makes you want to hurl.

Sure –

You’ve bought in at times to do the idea that maybe you DO gotta do it as they say.

An automated webinar, perhaps?? Facebook ads which carefully and smartly tell the world who you are and how you can help? A sales plan proven and tested by the greats. The gradual sinking slow decline of your soul, your joy, your dreams, and even your pussy as everything within you that once knew she could HAVE IT ALL AND DO LIFE HER WAY SLOWLY DRIES,

WITHERS TO NOTHING,

AND DIES?

Sure –

Why not

And look.

It’s not that any of these things are bad or wrong. Maybe right now you’ve got to a certain point by playing by the rules … kind of. Following what ‘logic’ suggests you do. Breaking free here and there with wild little jaunts into over the top madness, noticing how THAT lights you up and also how people respond to it … but ultimately continuing to go back to trying to find the right fucking system to get you to where you want to go,

Because this thing of trying to just be you interspersed with trying to get it all right and make it work, well –

It’s God damn tiring –

But also, in the end, if we’re going to be black and white about it, it hasn’t got you to where you want to be!!

You KNOW you should be making SO much more money.

NOW.

With consistency, and yeah, while of course of COURSE you’re down for doing the work, you also feel like it SHOULD be a lot easier, more flow

And you know that you know that you know that you’ve still not let out the most unrestrained and fully expressed side of you!

– The you they can’t look away from
– The you they are MAGNETIZED by
– The you who automatically commands a huge freakin’ following, and sales to match it

You know who I’m talking about –

THE MILLIONAIRE REBEL YOU!

Starting January 18th!

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/

The revolutionary fucking leader who tears SHREDS off of normal every damn day before the rest of the world has barely sipped its coffee!

Who is FULLY unleashed in what she says, how she shows up, how she does business, how she does life.

Who does not give a fuck about following rules! Or sales systems! Or strategies! Who can and will do what works for HER, and if it happens to resemble other ways people build an audience and make a fuckload of money online, cool, and if not, so what! That is not the point! The point is –

She knows what works for her.
She backs herself unapologetically.
She DOES it.

And she gets the damn results. The BIG results. The CONSISTENT results. The FUCK yes results, not just with money but with the VIBERY of it all.

Imagine …

Waking up every day and KNOWING you have crushed the day before it already begun because THAT IS WHO YOU ARE AND HOW YOU ROLL!

* Your shit sells (at any and all price point)
* Your creativity and inner ideas machine flows endlessly (you always know what to put out into the world and that when you speak people PAUSE EVERYTHING AND LISTEN, whether it is with free content and shenaniganery or with your paid stuff)
* You don’t even have to think about low end or high end or how to take people through a value ladder or some such bullshit, the value ladder is YOU CONTINUING TO BE YOU, and the more that you DO you the more people just take themselves through whatever it is you’re offering!
* It is easy, natural, fun, and OBVIOUS how to build your automated income, funnels, the ‘cash machine’ side of your business.
* In fact the whole damn thing feels fun and easy and like you’re just being you (the full on you, the too much you, the rebel you, the fuck all of ’em THIS IS WHAT I STAND FOR AND NOW I’M GONNA TELL YOU you!),
* and at the same time you have the DEEPLY grounded and certain knowledge that the way you’re doing it, hot mess and chaos vibes and all, is WORKING. PS – the reason you feel certain of this is because your bank balance and soulmate audience and their feedback reflects it, not bc your spirit guides told you it’s coming

All of this is ALREADY available to you.

It is who you are and what you were born for.

You did not come here for normal!

You are one of the truly crazy ones, who has something inside of her that will leave the world BREATHLESS –
and allow her to make millions and impact millions –

BUT NOT IF SHE CONTINUES TO DO BUSINESS AND LIFE BY TRYING TO SOMEHOW BE A NON-CONFORMIST WHO CONTINUALLY CAVES AND CONFORMS.

For this to work,

REALLY work, like next next NEXT level $ and life flow work,
you’re going to need to FULLY turn your back on the idea that your breakthrough is waiting on the other side of you adjusting, filtering, compromising, playing the game the way the other entrepreneurs are playing it, or worrying about what the fuck your social media looks like!

What you’re going to need to do is simple:

FLICK THE DAMN REBEL MILLIONAIRE SWITCH BABY.

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/

All in on madness.
All in on crazy.
All in on chaos.
All in on the TRUE epic awesome ridiculousness and too much-ness of YOU.

REBEL MILLIONAIRE

Starting January 18th!

For those who were born to run the damn thing,

To turn the world on its head and dance on top of it,

And who are ready to do just that.

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/